Day #2

5-21-09

Today at the Amani Baby Cottage I cried at one point. I spent the entire morning playing and cuddling with the 10-24 month old babies. After about the first two hours we moved into another room and the "Mamas" (staff) got little toy balls out for them to play with. The little girl I had been holding- Josephine- began to cry when I put her down, so I picked her back up. However, one of the Mamas scolded me and told me she should not be held right now since they were playing. So of course when I put Josephine back down, she began to cry again. At this point I too felt tears coming. I think it was at this point that I grasped the truth about why these children were in this orphanage. They had no mother or father... no consistency in receiving affection and finding comfort or love. Studying marriage and family this past semester (Soc250), I learned about the negative affects that take place in children without fathers, but how much worse off must these orphans be? My heart was just broken right then and there. I slowly walked out of the room to a hallway for a few minutes before I gained composure, again. I guess what really set it off was the fact that all Josephine wanted was somebody to hold her and find reassurance that she was loved, and yet just as she had been abandoned by her parents, she felt as though I too was abandoning her. It killed me inside to hear her wailing and I just so badly wanted to hold her close and tell her how beautiful she was and how much I loved her.
Each child is so precious and unique. It was a such a great reminder of how miraculous God's gift of life is. I so long for His best for each one.